March 2, 2021

S1E17: Ray & Caroline Wrap Season One


Caroline and Raymond (and an awkward little-sounding voice) say goodbye to Season One.  Our cohosts give updates on their personal Covid stories, tell us about what's coming up in Season Two (launching March 9th, 2021), and why this shift has them excited and not fatigued.

In just 3 months, we've built out a one-stop-shop website and social media pages and Fatigued Podcast has reached thousands of listeners across every podcast platform playable.  We would not be continuing without the supportive messages we receive from listeners like you.  We've said from the beginning that we'd do this until "we get fatigued by it" and, thanks to your support, we ain't there yet!

We continue to hope and hear that these episodes are making a difference now and you can listen to hear how we see them helping in the future as well.  Thank you!

Transcript
Caroline Amos:

Hi, I'm Caroline Amos.

Raymond McAnally:

And I'm Raymond McAnally.

Caroline Amos:

And we are Fatigued (laughter)! Raymond.

Raymond McAnally:

Caroline.

Caroline Amos:

It's been a very long time since it's just been the two of us my dude.

Raymond McAnally:

I know. I hope our guests are good this week.

Caroline Amos:

Yeah. Our guests being You mean my man.

Raymond McAnally:

Season One, I guess season one as a guest this week?

Caroline Amos:

Yes. Season One season one. Welcome to the booth. How are you season one?

Season One:

I'm okay, really. I don't know.

Caroline Amos:

Wow, who knew that season one was just a gremlin?

Raymond McAnally:

Yeah, kind of a high pitch Southern? I don't know. I think season one knows how to make biscuits.

Caroline Amos:

Season One knows how to make. I think season one knows how to make some lemonade out of some lemons.

Season One:

That's for sure (laughter)!

Caroline Amos:

So the whole purpose of gathering together today is that we have now - this will be our 17th episode. And the end of our season one.

Raymond McAnally:

17 episodes, that's really hard to believe. We just started this on what, November 24, or something like that? I think is our launch day,

Caroline Amos:

Yeah, the week before Thanksgiving.

Raymond McAnally:

And so we're recording this less than three months in?

Caroline Amos:

Yeah,

Raymond McAnally:

Am I doing the math, right? Yeah.

Caroline Amos:

I don't know.

Raymond McAnally:

Some people might have picked up on this and seeing our social media posts and listening to the show. But we didn't know where this was going. We just knew we couldn't stop talking about it.

Caroline Amos:

Yeah.

Raymond McAnally:

And that impulse, luckily has not gone away. In fact, I'm really excited about the team we now have built and what we're doing in terms of Season Two, and the difference between, hopefully Season One and Season Two in terms of intention, and our idea of what this show is and what we want it to be.

Caroline Amos:

Yeah. So for starters, let's just say Today is February 21. We're recording this. And we're not taking any sort of a break between season one and season two, in fact, when this will this will air the first week of March. And if you're listening to this This week, we're going to start Season Two next week. And we're kicking off with a bang. Do you know why everything is so exciting the second week of March this year?

Raymond McAnally:

Cuz it's the anniversary of all of us being trapped inside?

Caroline Amos:

Well, yeah. Whoo hoo. Is it worth celebration? Noooooo???

Raymond McAnally:

It's worth commemorating.

Caroline Amos:

Yes, yes.

Raymond McAnally:

I've been thinking about this a lot. And especially since, you know, we've been planning why we're doing this. Why we're starting a season two. This is a global, natural disaster. This is a global event that has affected all of us. Yeah. And I do think it's worth - No, it's not happy to think about, but this will have long lasting good and bad positive and negative impacts on all Yeah, globally.

Caroline Amos:

Yeah. I learned a lot. Oh, man.

Raymond McAnally:

I hope we learn the really good lessons from it.

Caroline Amos:

Yes, correct.

Raymond McAnally:

Yeah, there was a conversation I was a part of with a journalist and some other people on Twitter, on our fatigue, Twitter, which somehow still gets followed by journalists, even though we only have 40 something.

Caroline Amos:

Oh, yeah, we're so legit. Thank you just want to say a quick shout out to our 40 followers on Twitter. Thank you so much for supporting us.

Raymond McAnally:

And I fully admit I am not good at that platform. I think a

Caroline Amos:

Hey man at least you do it. I don't even I don't even touch it. I just watch you post all the things and then every once in a while I like something and go Yeah, I'm the Twitter. I'm the tweeter, the tweeters cheerleader.

Raymond McAnally:

No wonder we have such great numbers.

Caroline Amos:

Yeah (laughs).

Raymond McAnally:

But no, we were we were talking about the fact that this is a this should be treated lessons should be learned like this is a natural disaster. What's going on right now in Texas, for example, the storms knocking at the power, all these things should be lessons learned, if we don't get bogged down and political back and forth of it - if we don't get bogged down in the potential greed and and, you know, trying to make a profit off of it. If we really look at it as how, when and if this happens again, how can we be much better prepared?

Caroline Amos:

Let's let's take a walk down memory lane real quick. If you could say anything to one year ago, Raymond What would you What would you say? How would you prepare him? Is there anything you would do differently?

Unknown:

Oh my gosh, one year ago, Raymond was coming off of a play that he loved doing in Portland, Maine. And going right into rehearsals, Whitney and I were going to work together for the first time in 10 years. So she was going to be the stage manager on a show at the Geffen Playhouse and I was going to be in the show. The director was a friend, like we were - I was feeling great. I think I would tell myself that - try to remind myself that you know how to do this, in a way.

Caroline Amos:

What do you mean by this?

Unknown:

One version of it. One version of it is I was a latchkey kid, I was the kid who came home, both my parents worked. And so until I was old enough to work for our family business, I came home, I unlocked the door, by myself. I made a snack if I, you know, felt like it, I I entertained myself, I got my homework done, I had my chores to do. And so to some degree, growing up that way, was kind of - I've always been a self starter. As a result, I haven't needed I need very little outside motivation to find something to occupy my time. And part of that's due to my parents and like how they raised me, but also just, I think, being that latchkey kid. Being you know, there wasn't anybody at home. There was a wonderful woman in Katie who helped out, and would every now and then be there, you know, once or twice a week, and we just scared at each other. Like Katie and I had a game. Yeah, we had a game that, if she didn't hear me getting off the bus, then I would try to scare her.

Caroline Amos:

(laughter)

Raymond McAnally:

And sometimes she would, she would hear see me get off the bus. And so she'd be waiting and like a closet or around the corner. And so it was it made like this whole, like two years of coming home. It made it so much fun, because I didn't know where Katie was. And I didn't know if I was going to get her she was going to get me it's a it's a wonder nobody ever fell down the steps and hurt themselves.

Caroline Amos:

Oh, my god, no kidding. But we had a blast, Katie.

Raymond McAnally:

And she's like my second mom. So. But that was the closest I ever had to somebody being home. And then I immediately got a hardship license at 15. So that I could drive directly from school to my parents office and start working. So that's a version of what I mean by "you know how to do this". You know, you know how to keep yourself occupied. Another version is what we do for a living. I do feel like because we're used to gigs, we're used to moments in time, you have an up moment in time, and you appreciate it. You have a down moment in time, and you breathe through it, and you go, Okay, this too shall pass. This is a "this too shall pass". Oh, right.

Caroline Amos:

Yes.

Raymond McAnally:

And that's actually why I feel like it equates far more to a natural disaster than it does, you know, all these fears that we saw, especially at the beginning of this where people were like this is - they're trying to control us - whoever THEY are.

Caroline Amos:

I don't know, 5G obviously.

Raymond McAnally:

Yeah, that there was a conscious concerted effort for this to take over and be the new norm. when really it was. It was the power going out. It was the natural sort of natural disasters hit and we have to get past this moment in time.

Caroline Amos:

Yeah.

Raymond McAnally:

Yeah, I think My only advice because I have no control over the rest of it. And I'm not. I'm not a doomsday prepper I don't have a bunker anywhere (laughs).

Caroline Amos:

So your advice to yourself is that you should probably get one

Raymond McAnally:

I should probably get a bunker. They're gonna be expensive here in Los Angeles.

Caroline Amos:

Oh, my gosh. And in New York. Also, where would I even put one here in New York, man?

Raymond McAnally:

I don't know. You'd have to commandeer an old subway station.

Caroline Amos:

Oh, that sounds so fun. Don't get my hopes up. That sounds No,

Raymond McAnally:

I want to meet the Caroline who's living subterraneous. doing voiceover work?

Caroline Amos:

Yeah. Well, you know, if you look at my little setup I've got in my closet. It really feels that way. So yeah.

Raymond McAnally:

Well, what about you? What would you tell yourself a year ago?

Caroline Amos:

Man, you know, it's funny because the pandemic is so hard. And looking back. So Today is February 21. I turned 28 in four days. And last year, this time I was in Florida, at the bedside of my dying grandfather. And it's so interesting to think I was already I was already not having a great time when the pandemic broke out. And as you know, and as we talked about in Episode Two, where I share my story, I ended up getting stuck down there with my grandma a couple weeks later for an in you know, indefinite amount of time and it's very odd to think that I'm hitting my own personal one year anniversary of an absolute terrible time. 27 was not a great year for me. And I am actually so eager to see what year 28 has in store, especially now that I've moved in into my own apartment on my own. And I've got some some fun work coming around the corner in terms of like artistic, artistic adventures, having this podcast, creating my own voiceover career, it's actually been kind of amazing how I've been able to pull myself out of it. Yeah. But man, oh, man, it was it was no fun. If I could give myself any advice, I would, I would literally just tell myself to pack more for my trip to Florida. And if I could, like whisper in my ear and be like, actually, you should pack your shampoo and conditioner. And while you're at it, you should grab all of your skincare supplies, and maybe you should pack like I don't know, maybe like 10 extra outfits, and see what that does.

Raymond McAnally:

That would have made a difference for sure.

Caroline Amos:

It would have made a huge difference. I mean, I would have been, I probably wouldn't have been nearly as angry and uncomfortable, you know. But it's really interesting looking back and going, Oh, a year ago, now I was already going through one of the worst periods of my life. And, and it's a year later and look at me now, I'm kind of excited. And I don't know, I'm sort of sort of feel a little more grounded. I think after going through this year, and moving into my own place. And like learning how to be a self starter, like you said, I am, I'm almost embarrassed that it takes something like a pandemic, to have put me in a position where I needed to take control and leadership over my own life. And for that I'm actually extremely grateful, I don't want to, I don't want to give any props or kudos to the pandemic whatsoever. It's a terrible time. But I'm, I'm immensely proud of myself, and you know, about to start another year around the sun. And I'm, I don't know, I feel a little more hopeful than I did this time last year. And it's kind of hard to believe that it's been a whole year! Right!?

Raymond McAnally:

It feels like a decade mixed in to a month. Like it doesn't, it has one of those weird absences of time, you can't pin it down.

Caroline Amos:

I have to keep reminding myself that this is the this is the last time I'm ever going to get this amount of time to myself. I mean, ideally, we're never going to see a situation like this ever again. So part of me is sort of like soak it up. Like if you want to wake up and do nothing today. And you really don't have to, don't do it. If you want to, if you want to do a bunch of stuff, do it, I actually feel an immense amount of freedom in the fact that for the first time in my life, I have a schedule that is completely dictated by me, it is not dictated by a boss, it is not dictated by another person. everything that I'm doing, and have been doing for the last year have been my choices. And there's something so liberating about that. And in some ways, a certain level of anxiety for me has gone down. Because I'm no longer living in fear of Oh, I have to clock into work at 4pm. Right? Oh, I have to be at the theater by seven though I do miss that feeling a lot. I it's kind of amazing going that the world is my oyster today. While I can't do a whole lot, I can do what I want to do. So it's interesting thinking about who we were a year ago. And it's really especially interesting, because a year ago, neither you or I had had COVID yet. Now listeners who have been tuned in from the beginning will know and also who know us and our bodies will know that I had COVID in July and I had a particularly nasty case of it. And then Ray you had it in November.

Raymond McAnally:

Yeah.

Caroline Amos:

Raymond Are you experiencing any long haul or symptoms? How are you? How are you feeling these days?

Raymond McAnally:

Yeah, I'm actually glad recovering this because so many friends have tuned in over the span of time. Yeah. And and so I will get I can tell when someone is listen to episode one. And because they think it's still happening to me right now. Oh, no. And they're like, Oh my gosh, how are you feeling? Are you are you? You know, how's your fatigue symptoms have? How's your cold symptoms? And I'm like, Oh, I'm good. I'm good now. Yeah, I'm just still doing this podcast.

Caroline Amos:

Oh my god.

Raymond McAnally:

By the time we aired our first podcast episode, I was I was starting to come out of everything but the fatigue. The fatigue lasted a little over two months. So I had been dealing with momentary bouts of fatigue. I've been dealing with continued cold symptoms were like, felt like I was always fighting off a cold or getting over a cold. And all of that kind of cleared up around New Year so I feel so much better.

Caroline Amos:

It's weird that you say that because Mine, I had mine in July, and my fatigue lasted until about the week of Christmas. Wow. I'm wondering if maybe this podcast has actually been really good for our spirits. Like, I think so too. I think if there's something, it feels really good to be able to take something that has been sown that had such a negative impact on both of our lives and 1000s millions of other people as well, it feels really good to take it and to, to make it something productive. And to work through it, and to talk about it and talk to more people about it and recognize that you are you are not alone in this struggle.

Raymond McAnally:

Since we're interviewing each other, I would like to ask you what has been some of your favorite feedback about our season one of Fatigue Podcast?

Caroline Amos:

Oh, my God? That's a great question. Because after we released just the first two episodes, the amount of people that came forward to tell me that they had had COVID was staggering. Because at the time when I was posting about it, I maybe knew I knew more than a handful of people. But I didn't know the extent of how many people I actually knew who really did have it and never shared it with the world. And the feedback I've been getting is that people are so they feel less, less alone. And the fact that they have struggled, they feel less ashamed for having had it. And I think it's great that we've been able to take something that is I mean, obviously the most isolated time and all of our lives full of like deep, deep resentments, shames, angers, frustrations, etc. I think it's really great that we are offering some sort of solace and community for people who have also suffered.

Raymond McAnally:

Yeah, and the feedback. I hope people can hear it. In each episode, we take the feedback to heart, we haven't gotten any negative feedback. I think we still knock on wood, or you know, have nothing but five star reviews. But there's been some stuff that was really interesting and shifted our perspective on what we thought this was and what it could be one of those big things was a listener mentioning that they loved the series. They loved this as a series because they felt it was archival. Yeah, they felt that it had a future purpose as not just a time capsule, but being something that when it comes time to talk about new protocols and legislation and things that that projects like this could help us remember how this felt at the time and make better decisions in the future because we were doing it to help people make better decisions now.

Caroline Amos:

Yeah,

Raymond McAnally:

I hadn't even thought about the future. That seems so futuristic.

Caroline Amos:

Well, kind of hard to think about the future when it sort of seems non existent at the moment. You know -

Raymond McAnally:

When time is a bowl of pudding,

Caroline Amos:

Yes. And not a good bowl of pudding at that.

Raymond McAnally:

Very bland, no sugar.

Caroline Amos:

Yeah.

Raymond McAnally:

Not even vanilla. Just all of bluuuhh.

Caroline Amos:

Like the kind of the kind of pudding you get at your aunt's house who's on a diet and that's the only kind of snack she has to offer (laughter)

Raymond McAnally:

Oh, man.

Caroline Amos:

I hate it. I hated that metaphor. That was disgusting.

Raymond McAnally:

Yeah, so yeah, these are all I love it when people tell us that they used a they listened to an episode with family or friends. And because they were trying to drive home upon point, like a number of people told me that about your episode, because it was about visiting family. So and we were and we had come out after after Thanksgiving, I believe. Or maybe right before Thanksgiving,

Caroline Amos:

Because we came out the week before Thanksgiving because we were like we hope people listen to this when they are on the road potentially endangering their family.

Raymond McAnally:

Well, we actually had people say that, yeah, especially by Christmas time, people were sharing it and saying, This is why we we maybe shouldn't get together. Because I do remember and we've talked about it in a number of episodes. You know, I think one of our messages has been that it really doesn't matter what your intention is this thing this is a virus that does what viruses do. So even if you're not wearing a mask, but you don't intend to get anybody sick. You still could you still could get yourself sick. This doesn't have a consciousness to it.

Caroline Amos:

If anything, the virus is like fuck your intention. I'm going to do whatever the hell I want.

Raymond McAnally:

I love that I just explained that it has no it's not personified has no personality. And you were like, but then it's like fuck you!

Caroline Amos:

The Virus is just like Cartman from South Park. We have a really exciting season coming up. And what can we tease out to our listeners? What should they be on the lookout for Raymond

Raymond McAnally:

Be on the lookout for a new look.

Caroline Amos:

Oh, yeah!

Raymond McAnally:

We realized that our our black logo (laughter)

Caroline Amos:

Is very, very, very dark. And we actually found that we've been really surprised at how much humor and levity these conversations have had.

Raymond McAnally:

And yet you'd never know it by looking at ou

Caroline Amos:

No, but but the best part about that is that Neil Shastri, who is an old best friend of mine, has designed a new logo that is so accurate to the messages we're talking about. I'm so excited. I want to wallpaper my apartment with it. It's beautiful. I wanted on T shirts I wanted in a tattoo. I want it on mugs. I want it on my face. I just, I love the logo so much. In fact, I'm really mad at our team. Because we now have a social media manager, Laura went. And we have a public relations, marketing manager, marketing manager, Swiss Army person, Brooke Vonnegut. But we now have a whole team who is behind this and taking care of us and making sure that we're heading in the right directions. And with this gorgeous logo, they all said that we should roll it out in season two. And I was really mad because the second I received it, I wanted to post it on all of my social medias. And I'm just chomping at the bit to get this beautiful logo out there.

Raymond McAnally:

And if you've been following our social media, you've probably seen us already start to use the colors that are in this album cover. I like calling it an album cover

Caroline Amos:

It Is an al um cover. Yeah, it's it's gorgeo s. I'm so excited for people to take like, it's the kind of thing where you're going to w nt to look at it for a couple of seconds. Because the more ou stare at it, the more things re going to start popping out to you so much beautiful symboli m. I mean, God Neil just di a great job. So if you nee a logo, contact Neal Shast

Raymond McAnally:

Yeah, we can put you in touch with him, for sure. So that's happening, we've we've better defined what we want this to continue to be. Yeah, we got a little feedback early on that, you know, just once or twice that people felt like, Oh, I didn't know, I was supposed to listen to this, because I didn't have COVID. I thought this was stories, by people with COVID for people with COVID. And even though we didn't explicitly say that we we could see where somebody would get that impression. So we've kind of we're gonna be rolling out a better description of the show and a little more well defined understanding of what we're trying to do and why we're interviewing everybody from long haulers, to doctors, to paramedics, to, to business owners, to people who have just been, we've all been affected by this. Yeah, I think it's interesting. If we interview somebody who is in your line of work, for example, and they get to talk about how they pivoted during the pandemic that might help you with your small business. We don't know,

Caroline Amos:

heck, these are like, these are our version of TED Talks, man. People are just getting up here and being able to give some really sage advice and wisdom. So

Raymond McAnally:

yeah, and so far, that's proven, we have yet to interview a single person that there wasn't a mix of really, incredibly informed knowledge and sense of humor, and just everything you would want in a good conversation. I think Caroline and I always approach these things. Like imagine we invited you over for dinner. And, and dinner is over. And we have about 30 minutes to catch up about how this has affected us. That's really what it feels like. Yeah. And then and then the conscious decision. And Brooke is a part of this, a part of this series and how she first got on board with us in being our our a team member is we have a lot of folks who have been battling their symptoms with this since the very beginning, since what's coming up on a year, and Brooke is one of them. And I think people are going to be amazed at what she's been able to persevere through and how she's been able to collect herself and keep moving with the way the symptoms have changed her life hopefully hopefully in the short term, but she's she's by the time our episodes airs. She'll be coming up very close to a year of symptoms. Yeah,

Caroline Amos:

a year's worth of really, really unbearable. symptoms,

Raymond McAnally:

symptoms that most of us would not be able to even though it can sound, maybe on paper, like, it's not as big a deal as being in the ICU on a ventilator. You know, it's not as immediately life threatening, but it is life

Caroline Amos:

For sure. Yea . I mean, we're really we're rea ly questioning what it means to ave a mild case. You know, bec use Brooke was she was considere a mild case, I was considere a mild case, Brooke is suffer ng from distortion of her taste and smell for a year now, on a mild case. So I'm really in erested to see what the how t at language could potential y change, the more that we s art talking about people wh have poor asthma and fantasma?

Raymond McAnally:

Yeah, so we decided to for our listeners, we decided to focus the beginning of season two on the fact since we were doing this cut off consciously saying, okay, we've, we haven't been doing a podcast for a year, but we've been in the pandemic for a year, it feels like we need to, to make a distinction here. So we're ending season one and starting season two, with some people who have had these severe long Haller symptoms, where they're being told by medical professionals, we don't know when this will end for you. And it is incredibly eye opening. And we think it'll be very helpful in continuing this effort of speaking to people on a level that might change the way they approach the safety and health related precautions around the virus. Because that's that, to me, that's still one of the most important things for doing this. is we want to help people make educated decisions.

Caroline Amos:

Yeah. Especially if your doctors sometimes don't know how to tell you what's wrong with you, because they themselves have never seen this before either. Thank you guys so much for tuning in and celebrating the end of season one, the beginning of season two with us and for commemorating the one year anniversary of the coronavirus pandemic. It's been an absolute joy, being able to share these stories with you. And we really look forward to talking to more people, getting more perspectives and learning along the way, the way that you guys might potentially be learning to if you have a story or have a perspective that you think might be interesting and you'd like to share on our podcast. Don't hesitate to reach out we are on every social media including clubhouse. Now, clubhouse I don't even know what it is or how it works, but we're on it. We're on Facebook and fatigue podcast, we're on Instagram that is fatigue podcast and you can always reach us at the team podcast@gmail.com that's fet igpu ed podcast@gmail.com.

Raymond McAnally:

And if you've ever followed one of our links, everything links back to our website. So if any of that is hard to find, go to fatigued podcast.com and it will lead you to wherever you want to find us.

Caroline Amos:

We are everywhere. Thank you for listening. Take care. We'll see you in season two